Fatherhood

For the past several months, I have been asking God in prayer to teach me how to be a good father to my sons. I have been asking for His guidance in leading them down the path He has for each of them. I have been asking for the ability to raise up Godly men for Him, that they might also serve Him faithfully as I am called to do. I asked this because, in my own limited human understanding, I had no idea where to begin.

This past Sunday morning, our associate pastor deviated from His study of the book of Revelation to give us a special message on fatherhood. As soon as I realized what the subject of the message was, I thought,"Oh boy, here it comes. A whole list of instructions. I better start writing these down." With my Bible open and my pencil poised, I sat ready to record how God wants me to instruct my kids. What I received from the message was not at all what I expected.

As it turns out, this list was not a manual for what to do TO my kids. Rather, this was a list of things to do AROUND my kids. He was saying that I should be leading by example, as opposed to the typical "do as I say, not as I do" parenting style of the modern world. He gave several key features of the kind of Godly example to set, and by the time he had finished, I realized that I had not written any of them down. Why? Surprisingly enough, because these were all things I am already doing.

Don't get me wrong; I'm not trying to use this story as an opportunity to brag. I was shocked that I had been given so very little new information. The question in my mind became then,"Why aren't these kids following my example?" The answer hit me like a ton of bricks. I haven't been serving God long enough to make that kind of an impact on them yet.

Yes, believe it or not, even children can recognize the difference between a passing interest and a true commitment. Interests come and go over time. True commitment takes time and dedication. It was as if the Lord was asking me to check my motives one more time, with one very simple question,"Are you in this for the long haul?" Well, am I? Am I truly committed to working on my personal relationship with God for the rest of my life?

How can I not be? I have learned that I am nothing without my Heavenly Father watching over me, guiding my steps as I go. I have learned that doing God's will requires vigilance in prayer. I have learned that being a Godly example to the world requires consistent study of His word. We are to always seek His will for our lives in prayer, and we are to take our cues from His truth found in the Bible. I must continue to learn and grow in Him, or I will not succeed at anything...especially fatherhood. Fatherhood is not instant success; it's another life-long commitment.

That makes a total of three life-long commitments I've made, and they all have to do with relationships. I am committed to serving my Heavenly Father with my life. I am committed to being a faithful and loving husband. I am committed to being a diligent and instructive father to my children. Growing each of these relationships requires that I spend time with each of them and learn more about them. I have accepted the challenge; may God give me the strength and patience to see each through to the end.

"I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing." - John 15:5

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;" - Ephesians 5:25

"And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." - Ephesians 6:4