God's Faithfulness

Wow, it's been a whole month since I blogged again. Life just gets busier and busier, both at the office and in ministry. Much has happened, most of which I can't recall clearly due to lack of sleep. When the fall semester got underway, I took to spending my lunch hours in my car, catching cat-naps and reading my required texts. Now that it's starting to get cold outside, I'll have to come up with a new plan. The time for spending my evenings typing up papers in front of the fireplace with a mug of hot cider next to me is nearly at hand.

Last week, I took a stay-cation from work to look after the kids, while my wife attended a week-long seminar at Camp CoBeAc. A day before she left, the clothes washer started dying. No, I don't mean that our clothes changed colors. After about ten and a half years of faithfully turning, the motor had finally had enough punishment. Apparently, so had my checking account, because we were also a few hundred dollars short during that pay period. This was the problem that I was left to tackle during my tenure as Mr. Mom.

Knowing what I was up against, I started praying about it. I searched the web off and on for the first couple of days, trying to find a deal. My finger hovered over the BUY button a few times, coerced by thoughts of using the credit card, but I knew that wasn't the answer. Even the cheapies were beyond my financial capability at the time. I even searched the local Salvation Army store on Wednesday morning, and for the first time for as long as I can remember, they were totally sold out. I began hitting my knees in desperation every morning.

I coached and babysat a few loads through our semi-lifeless washer on Thursday and Friday, knowing that it wouldn't work much longer. By Friday afternoon, I began to consider how I was going to explain to my wife that we were just going to have to wait for God to provide for us...

The phone rang.

"Hey, I found a washer for you. When do you want it delivered?"

I had to ask for a moment to pick my jaw up off the floor.

When I got off the phone, the first thing I had to do was hit my knees again, this time in gratitude. Why was I surprised? Isn't God always faithful? Hasn't He promised to always provide for us? Hasn't He promised to answer prayer? Praise God! He's so good! I have little else to say on the subject, so I'll let His Word lead us to a close.

O give thanks unto the LORD, for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever. - Psalm 107:1

And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it. - John 14:13-14

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. - Matthew 6:33

Great is thy faithfulness, great is thy faithfulness
Morning by morning, new mercies I see
All I have needed, thy hand hath provided
Great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me

Preparing for Rain

Revival week is upon us at First Baptist, and already God has done some interesting and wonderful things. The evangelist team that we had scheduled for the week had to cancel due to a family emergency, and God almost immediately filled the vacancy with another who just happened to have this week open due to a cancellation. "Just happened"? Not likely. Nothing just happens when God is in control. Again, He demonstrates His infinite wisdom and sovereignty in our lives. God is good. God provides, far beyond what we could ask for or even hope for.

I've also had my share of moments these last few weeks. Several letters went out to those of the younger generation of our church who are gifted with musical ability, asking them to be a part of a mission trip to Brazil next summer, to join a music conference there. I sent them. One person publicly stepped forward in faith last Sunday night, to announce his intention to lead this team to Brazil. That would be me. I can only assume that the Spirit of God prompts me to do some of these things I do now, because as I look back on what's happened lately, I keep thinking... "I must be crazy!"

Do I have any idea how this trip is getting paid for? Not when I look at it on paper (or in my case, a computer screen). Am I worried about it? Not really. This is God's trip. If He wants it to happen, He'll keep the door open. I've seen Him provide in miraculous ways before, and I have no doubt that if this is what He wants, He'll do it again. I just have to remember to quit looking at the mountain in front of me and instead focus on who made the mountain in the first place. It still amazes me how small our problems become when we focus on the Lord.

Do I have any idea who's going with me? Not a clue. Even if it turns out to be just me, I'm committed to going, right up to the point when and if God closes the door. Again, this is God's trip. My job in the meantime is to prepare everything I can, while continuing to ask Him to provide what I need. (That's need, not want.) God knows exactly how much it's going to cost. He knows exactly who's going and how they will be used by Him. He knows how each heart will be changed by the experience. How can I not trust a God who knows everything, who loves me enough to exchange the life of His own Son for mine?

I was recently reminded of a great story that I believe applies in this case. Have a look at the other blogs listed to your left, and I'm sure you'll figure out what reminded me.

"I heard a story once, of two farmers who prayed for rain, but only one of the farmers went out and prepared his fields to receive it. Which one do you think trusted God to send the rain?"
"Well, the one who prepared his fields for it."
"Which one are you? God will send the rain when He is ready. Your job is to prepare your field to receive it."

It almost sounds like a parable you might find in the Bible, right? See if you can find it. In the meantime, I'll be preparing for rain.

Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. - Psalm 37:5

Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen. - Ephesians 3:20-21

PS- AWANA starts tomorrow night. Pray for us!

Afterthoughts

Last time around, Job was all I could think about, mostly because the last lecture I had listened to had made a profound impact on me. I think that, for the first time, I truly began to understood just how deep the meaning of the phrase "the fear of the Lord" goes. All too often, we're led to believe that it simply means "respect", or "reverence". The phrase does imply both of those attributes, but the possibilities go far beyond an outward showing of respect. Anyone can kneel at an altar, but that doesn't necessarily mean one's heart is in the right place.

For those who deny Jesus as Lord and Savior, an outward showing of respect is the best they'll be able to offer at the Great White Throne, and they will be rejected for it. Only then will they truly understand what it means to fear God. For those of us who accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we do so because we, at some level, understand the fear of the Lord within our hearts. We recognize that our own eternity is within His sovereign hand. We understand that we aren't worthy of Him, but He invites us to come to Him anyway, because He loves us.

The fear of the Lord is understanding that everything you are, everything you have, and everything you experience amount to absolutely nothing in the presence of our holy God. He can steer us down any path He chooses. Our very existence depends on Him. We didn't create this world we live in. We didn't create food, water, and air - the very basics of our survival. He did, and He can just as easily do away with all of it. Your next meal depends on Him. Your next breath depends on Him. Your entire future depends on Him. Imposing thoughts, aren't they?

I have since reread what I wrote last time, and I am able to see things in a new way. I now agree with the rebuke I received from one of my mentors in the faith. "Wow," I thought, "I really did blast Job. He didn't deserve all that!" I suppose that I spent a little too much time on a devotional application of the book, putting myself in Job's shoes before the Creator, while failing to take into account the context of his encounter. I tend to hold myself to a very high standard, and I rake myself over the coals regularly because of it. Apparently, too much of that got projected on Job last time. My apologies.

To Job's credit, God did point him out to Satan first. He did describe him as "perfect" and "upright". Normally, God just brags on Himself (and He has every right to do so, being holy). This time, He actually bragged on Job. An Old Testament saint can't get much more righteous in this sin-cursed world than that! It's difficult for those of us who have been saved by His grace to believe that the holy God of all could brag on one man, a man who had the same sin nature as the rest of us, yet there it is in God's Word.

How blessed we believers in Christ are to be clothed in His righteousness, to be unbound by the law, and to have the privilege of stepping before His throne of grace at any time, knowing that He hears, understands, and loves us. I'm so glad the Lord allowed me to live on this side of the cross. Great is the Lord, and worthy of glory!

And the LORD said unto Satan, Hast thou considered my servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an upright man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil? - Job 1:8

The Fear of the Lord

I'd like to take the time to elaborate a bit more on my comments from last time, regarding my studies of the book of Job. Now that I've read the book through to the end yet again, I believe my initial conclusions bear further investigation. As you may recall, I said that Job's relationship with the Lord was based on fear. I should clarify that, and say that his relationship was based completely on fear. In other words, Job did have a genuine fear of God, but that was about all he had. He didn't really know God at all.

His inadequacy did not keep him from spouting his knowledge of God back at his three friends, as they accused him time and again of harboring some secret sin as justification for God's actions. Apparently, not only were these guys lousy in the area of Biblical counseling, but they also had a relationship with the Lord that was no better than Job's. This is evident in the way they kept hurling their knowledge at Job. Everything that was said by these men was technically accurate, but it was not applied correctly.

From this new vantage point, we begin to see the difference between knowledge and wisdom. For example, I could read, memorize, and recite all the technical specifications for building a car's engine, but until I try to put one together, I have not applied that knowledge. Wisdom comes with the experience of having applied knowledge, through both success and failure. I could just as easily memorize the entire Bible and live wickedly for the rest of my days. That also is knowledge without wisdom, because I would not have tried to apply what I had learned.

By the way, that's been done; just ask Satan. He doesn't seek to apply God's truth, either. He seeks to misapply it. His goal is to distort, disfigure, and destroy anything and everything having to do with God - His Word, His Name, and His image (specifically, man). He's the classic "tear others down to build myself up" kind of guy. That's another discussion, though. I digress.

Job receives new wisdom at the end of the book, having finally been given the opportunity to apply all his knowledge of God with the result of failing miserably. His score on the exam was a big, fat zero. (I guess mine would be too, were I in his place.) What did he learn? Simple - God is God, Job, and you're not. You might think you have all the answers, that you have God figured out, but you don't. God gives us exactly the amount of knowledge of Him we need, nothing more. You can't communicate on God's level, because He hasn't given you that authority.

God doesn't give us knowledge of how to create something from nothing. He doesn't give us knowledge of how to control Satan and His minions, or anything else, for that matter. That is His sovereign domain. He created man to bring glory unto Himself, not to take His place. He designed us to depend on Him for all things, not to be self-sufficient. He shows His love for us by providing everything we need (including salvation), and we are to give Him all the glory in gratitude for all that He does.

Are we to fear God? Absolutely! Jesus said so. That's where the relationship begins, but that should never be where it ends. Learn of Him, walk with Him, depend on Him, and give Him the glory. Every time God tells us "fear not", He's referring to our fear of something other than Himself - pain, despair, hunger, loneliness, defeat, even death. If we fear God above all else, and if we love Him above all else, our fear of everything else will slowly dissolve, because everything else is beneath Him.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus;
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace.

God's in control, and He always has our best interests at heart, even if we can't see it. Our Father in Heaven loves us more than we can imagine, and He deserves our respect and humility before Him. After all, He's God, and we're not.

I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth thee. Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes. - Job 42:5-6

And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. - Matthew 10:28

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding. - Proverbs 9:10

The fear of the LORD is the instruction of wisdom; and before honour is humility. - Proverbs 15:33

Spiritual War

It's been...what, two months? At least? Summer is supposed to be a time to relax a bit, right? I've rarely been so busy in my life! My entire summer has revolved around ministry, family, and trudging through another massive project at work...which finally started winding down today. I actually have a half hour to breathe! Yaay! What's been going on? Hmm...you mean I actually get to pause and reflect? Suffice it to say that I regret not blogging for a while. There are several lessons God has taught me lately that bear recording, but I suppose that will now have to wait for me to forget the lesson and have to be retaught. I'm great at that.

When classes started again this month, we began by diving into the book of Job. Who could possibly have trouble identifying with this guy? Okay, so you probably haven't had all of your children wiped out and everything you own taken away from you in a single day, but you have had plenty of trials. We all have, and most of us have probably thought, at one time or another, "Why is God doing this to me?" I know I have on more than one occasion. It's not a pleasant place to be, but I love it when I come out the other side having been drawn closer to the Father, as Job did.

This study reminds me of how my life has been unfolding in the past year. As I recall, almost immediately after I started taking classes, my workload increased substantially. If it weren't for all the A's I've been blessed with, I might be tempted to think God didn't want me to learn more of His Word, but I know that's not the case. The book of Job confirms that God wants us to know Him more intimately, and there is no better way to do that than by prayer and studying the Bible. What Job has helped me to do is put my own trials in God's perspective.

The first chapter of Job alone lets us know that there's a spiritual war going on all around us. God often uses the enemy's own playbook against him, in order to draw us into a more intimate relationship with Himself, and Job's case is no exception. Yes, Job was an upright man who walked with the Lord, but that relationship was built on fear. Fear is not a healthy basis for any relationship. God desires for us to know His love, and He tells us over and over again in His Word to not be afraid.

How does God start the process of revealing His love to Job? By telling Satan to hit Job with everything he has! That sure seems like a strange way to show love, doesn't it? Think about it, though - when do you draw closest to God? Is it when life is going good, or is it when you're in dire straights? If God desires a closer relationship with you, you're in for trials. They can make or break our relationship with Him. It's no wonder Peter tells us to count it all joy when bad things happen; it means God wants to be closer to us!

Despite how much has been laid on my shoulders lately, I'm draw great comfort from the words James and Peter wrote. As I draw closer to God in times of struggle, He draws closer to me. As I give Him each and every problem I encounter, my burden gets lighter. It's an incredible exchange, one which I'm slowly beginning to enjoy. Do I wish for more trials? Absolutely not, but when they come my way, I do know who to share them with - the only One who can see me through each of them to the end, my Father in Heaven. Praise His holy name!

Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped, and said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD. In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly. - Job 1:20-22

Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. - James 4:8a

Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. - 1 Peter 5:7

The Grieving Process

This month has been a real whirlwind for me. I remember a phone call from my mom, saying that my 90-year-old grandfather, who lives in Victoria, Texas, had taken a nasty fall and broken his hip. Because of where the break was, he was not a candidate for surgery. The doctor said that he would, in all likelihood, not survive the procedure. Therefore, he would never walk again. All that could be done from that point was to make him as comfortable as possible. Not for the first time, I lamented the fact that I live so far away and could not be there with him. In point of fact, it had been well over 10 years since I had last seen him.

About a week after that call, I came home from church to find a message on my machine from my mom, saying that one day after having been airlifted to Little Rock to be put into hospice care, he died. I didn't have a clue how I was going to be there for the funeral, but mom insisted that I come. For me, the gesture of showing up seemed like too little, too late. I already regretted not having taken the time to visit him for so long. However, NOT showing up would have been even worse. I researched my options, I prayed about it, and I spent a total of 4 days on the road, driving to Victoria and back. I had to be there.

Donald Rexford Hecox was memorialized on June 16, with full military honors. I sat in the front pew with the rest of the pall bearers, with my oldest son, 8-year-old Austin, the only member of my family I could take with me on the trip, asleep the whole time against my shoulder. He was exhausted from the early and late driving hours, the Texas heat, and the morning spent swimming in the hotel pool. Normally, I would have poked and prodded him into staying awake during a service. That day, I let him sleep. I only woke him when it was time to get up and carry the casket.

Although the preacher had known my grandfather for 12 years, most of what he said that day sounded pretty generic to me - the standard stuff you hear at most funerals. I could even quote from memory every bit of scripture he used, as he was saying the words. Only one portion of what was said truly captured my attention. My grandfather knew Jesus as his personal savior. Praise God. He never told me. It was one of the many things I never took the time to ask him about. I had wrestled with this question for several days before finally having it answered for me. God is good, and He gives us exactly what we need, exactly when we need it.

From the moment I started my day that morning, I somehow knew I was going to sing at the funeral, although no live music was planned. The preacher was the only one who spoke the whole time. None of the music was done live. Even Taps was pre-recorded. I wish I had known; I would have brought my trumpet and played it myself. The graveside service ended in silence, with the women laying roses on top of the casket. This proved to be a challenge, due to the steady 20mph wind that was blowing. As the last rose was laid down, and as everyone slowly began to disperse, I felt the prompting of the Spirit. The first few words rang out, and everyone stopped in their tracks.

I heard an old, old story
How a Savior came from glory
How He gave His life on Calvary
To save a wretch like me

I heard about His groaning
Of His precious blood's atoning
Then I repented of my sins
And won the victory

Oh, victory in Jesus!
My savior forever
He sought me and bought me
With His redeeming blood

He loved me ere I knew Him
And all my love is due Him
He plunged me to victory
Beneath the cleansing flood

As well as I had held it together since hearing of my grandfather's death, I was surprised to find myself suddenly breaking down halfway through the first verse. Still, I was determined to get through the chorus. Tears filled my eyes as I sang of my gratitude for what God has done for me, and for all who believe.

Life has been a much more intense emotional rollercoaster since I returned to Michigan. My moods continuously swing over the entire spectrum - happy, sad, numb, angry, you name it - all within very short periods of time. I'm not angry with God; quite the contrary. I'm angry with myself, for not seizing opportunities that are now gone forever. I don't want that to happen again. I've wasted so much time pursuing all the wrong things. Just once, I'd like to get it right. May God give me the wisdom to know how, and may He give me the courage and strength to do so.

Something wonderful did come out of all this, though. After over 20 years of waiting, I was finally able to reconnect with my cousin Jeff - something I've wanted to do for a long time. Our time together wasn't nearly as long as I would have liked it to be, and I often tripped over my own words as I spoke to him. Had I known he was going to be up late talking in the hotel lobby the night before I left, I might have stayed with him. Of course, I probably would have had an accident on my way back north due to sleep deprivation, had I done so. Maybe it was a better idea to to go bed after all. Still, I sure hope I get to see him again soon.

My grandfather was one of the most honorable men I have ever known. He worked without complaining. He served unselfishly. He taught with great patience. He was firm yet always gentle. I never once heard him utter an unkind word. He always measured his words carefully. He could stop me in my tracks with just a look, yet he could always warm my heart with a hug. I'll miss him.

We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord. - 2 Corinthians 5:8

Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. - 1 Peter 5:6-7

The Encounter

Ever since I started going back to school (which, by the way is something I swore I'd never do, so naturally God directed my steps to do that), I've had very little time for television. I suppose that's a good thing, considering that the overwhelming majority of programming out there only serves to fill our minds with things that are not God-honoring, and considering that TV time only serves as yet another distraction to keep us away from time with God. With classes going on, my TV time has been limited to 2 hours a week, during which I watch an inspirational movie and fold the week's laundry.

Since school's out for summer, I now have more free time during the evening hours. It's been great reconnecting with my wife, being able to talk through many things that we either muddled through or put on hold during the fall and winter months. I think yesterday was the first time in quite a while that I've been able to just sit on the couch with her and watch a movie.

If there's one thing I've learned about inspirational and faith-based movies, it's that they're not all Biblically accurate. I have to be very careful to filter everything I watch through the lens of God's Word. I fully expected to have to tear this latest movie apart afterward, yet there was surprisingly little to shred when it was over.

The name of the movie we watched was The Encounter. It's a "what if" story about how, because of a road closure in the middle of nowhere, 5 people from different walks of life find themselves stuck at a roadside diner that doesn't actually exist, being served by a man who reveals himself to be Jesus. Of the 5 present, 2 are already believers, 1 thinks she's a Christian but is told bluntly by Jesus that she isn't, 1 comes having suffered severe emotional trauma and eventually finds salvation in Christ, and the last one, well...

Surprisingly, the last one knows the most of the 5 about the Bible. He was even raised by Christian parents in a loving home. However, because of his pride in being a "self-made man", because he believes he already has everything he needs, and because he refuses to live by someone else's standards, he repeatedly rejects the offer of eternal life.

This movie takes a microcosm of what the world is today and exposes it for what it really is in God's eyes. Within the dialogue, scripture is used over and over again, and accurate explanations of scripture are presented. I was pleasantly surprised at how this movie portrayed Jesus - a humble servant, knowing everything about those he served, asking no payment from them, freely offering them many wonderful things...if they only would ask.

The Jesus character begged and pleaded with the prideful man over and over again to repent, stating that he was making this offer as an answer to the fervent prayers of the man's long-dead grandmother. The man refused and deliberately chose hell, even after having been given an accurate description of what hell is like. The Jesus character explained to the other 4 that the worst part of being God was that, despite his best efforts to persuade, he already knew that this man would reject his offer of love.

I've seen other faith-based movies, most of which inspire me to add a new concept to my walk with the Lord, but the rest all have a happy ending. This one didn't exactly have one; life just kept on going. It did, however, help to shed some light on what we, as believers, face in the world as we share the good news of what Jesus has done for us. It did help to intensify the burden He places on each of us for reaching the lost. I highly recommend this movie, if you haven't seen it yet. Praise God for ministries such as these.

Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. - Matthew 11:28